13 Telling Signs You're Older Than You Think You Are

You're Tired by 9

Sometimes it's impossible to stay up past midnight. This is a reasonable reaction to being an adult and having a job. But if your eyes are drooping every night by eight o'clock, then you're either old or you need better sleep. You might want to make a rule that you don't go to bed while the sun is still up.

You Wear Slippers Because They're Comfortable

The human body lasts only so long. Eventually every single body part will begin to ache and complain at the slightest movement. But the first thing you might notice is your barking dogs. Forget stilettos, you need some slippers ASAP. Which loafer has the most cushioning? That's the one you buy.

You Yell at the Neighbor Kids

They may be brats, and they may be on your lawn, but yelling at children is something reserved only for the elderly (or extremely grumpy). It's one thing if they're actually vandalizing your home, but if you find yourself screaming at Little Jimmy because he's walking the family pet in your front yard then you may have a problem.

Dinner After 8 Is Unacceptable

Remember when you ordered pizza at 2 a.m. in college? Those were the good old days, weren't they? It may be true that six or seven is a more reasonable time for dinner, but if you're complaining because eight o'clock is too close to your bedtime then you may be older than you realize.

You Complain About Aching Joints

Ah, rheumatism. This is something only the truly old complain about, right? Wrong. Achy joints hit a lot sooner in life than most people realize, but complaining about it still makes you really old at heart. Take a pain pill and keep that information to yourself unless you need an ambulance.

You Can No Longer Do a Flip

It's probably been so long since you attempted this feat that you have no idea if you can still do one or not. Go ahead. Try it. Did you fail miserably? Then you're probably getting old. If you succeeded, then kudos to you. Hopefully you still feel okay when you wake up tomorrow and realize that your back is out.

You Have a Pill Box

Having one or two prescriptions is fairly normal once you leave your teenage years. And popping a vitamin or two per day is common for pretty much any age. But if you have an entire box dedicated to organizing your pills, lest you forget taking one at its precise time, then you are probably pretty old.

You Have a VCR

DVDs have been around for decades, yet some of you are still clinging onto VCRs, no matter what happens. How else are you going to play all those old tapes you have piled up? It's time to let these things go. Video cassettes aren't ever making a comeback, and there's really no reason to hold on to these relics from the past.

You Recognize Classic Rock Songs

Of course, you'll recognize the songs that your parents listened to on the classic rock station. But have you heard something a little more familiar when you tuned in recently? Perhaps "classic rock" now includes a song that you loved in high school. This is where the problem lies. You may need to accept the inevitably of your decline.

You Aren't Carded for Alcohol

Many people the world hope that the clerk won't card them for alcohol when they're under legal drinking age. These same women (and men) hope clerks card them for decades after they've finally hit this age. The moment when being carded stops can be one of the saddest in your life, because it means that the world finally recognizes you as an adult.

You Tell Dumb Jokes

Perhaps you've always been terrible at jokes, but it's fairly unlikely. What's more possible is the fact that you've just gotten too old to tell the good ones. No one knows the science behind age and bad punch lines, but there is a causal link there somehow. Perhaps your brain needs that space for more important stuff, like passing gas frequently.

You Just Don't Care

No one knows the exact age that people stop caring about everything in general, but we all agree that it's in the "old" range. If you're driving slowly just to make the teenager behind you angry or answering your door when you're half naked then you probably fall into the elderly category.

You Talk About the Good Old Days

Time can play cruel tricks on an older mind. Elderly people often think that nothing can be better than it was when they were young. If you find yourself constantly complaining about life, and wishing that you could somehow go back in time to your teenager years, then you may getting older. Try to enjoy the moment and remember that these years may just be your best yet.